One Starling
by Her Head In the Clouds
Summary: Starlings are beautiful and adaptable garden birds that always fly together. It is sad to have only one... StarlingRadarr first time used


**_A/n_**_: Hey there~ I hope you like another fic from yours truly. Lol, even though I failed my challenge the first day, I'm not giving up - a new one will come out everyday for this week. So here's #3. :) 4 to go!_

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_::Dedicated to all my readers who've given me a shot at their interest in the past couple days, and especially to the lovely pluvia somnium whose attitude keeps me bright and makes me want to keep writing when it means I have attracted sweet readers like her. Like all of you, really~ Lol, does it sound weird to say 'attracted'? Haha, oops. :]_

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**_One Starling_**

**_July 07, 2010_**

**_by: Her Head in the Clouds_**

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There is a moment of nothingness that crumbles Starling's hard exterior when she is alone and quiet.

It doesn't necessarily happen when she is paying her respects to the lone flag on a terra's precipice. She just as easily feel it in the skies when the gentle hum of her sky ride's engine is awake with life; when she is standing in patience awaiting information from another superior; or even simply when she is in the presence of friends and they share a laugh about something she is or isn't aware of.

When the emptiness takes her, she leans over slightly, only slightly and drops her head some quarters to embrace the chilling haunt of old memories. Sometimes they are new.

But she credits her performance in these new trying times, much like others do. True to her name, she is a bird among birds that flies with precision, and in unison with her fellow Sky Knights and squadrons. She is able to adapt, _has_ been able to adapt. She moves with the flock when change in behaviour stirs, when crunch time begins and new plans have to be made. Again, she has been able to do this for a very long time.

So long in fact, that she sometimes forgets what it feels like to have been in a unique sync with only special individuals she once held close to her hear like family. And that is when the emptiness settles into the pit of her stomach. On nights where she is by herself, it is all she really looks forward to.

"Oh, my friends…"

The strength leaves her and she feels herself tighten a fist as the familiar sting of tears are brimming her eyes.

And that is all she will say, before she bottles it up inside again and pushes herself to stand tall and upright. She was once a magnificent Sky Knight leader who shared hard times with her squadron. She knows they will understand her will to keep calm, to be strong, even in their loss.

When she is in places where she wishes for no one to see a cracked shield like she is, she hardens immeasurably and stiffens when that wave washes over her again. And like a tide, she waits for it to recede and leave no trace of ever having appeared.

Too bad if doesn't work when she finds herself in the metal hallway of the _Condor_.

On a simple recon mission that takes her only two hours to complete with the remarkable team, she doesn't think she would find herself going misty-eyed on a return trip from the washroom to their bridge. But here she here is in the long corridor alone, hearing their light-hearted chatter and occasional laughs echo and bounce on the walls around her, and suddenly her memories of days as an Interceptor are returning.

They joke, they tease and their voices bounce on the walls around her like butterflies. Like true friends, they are comfortable in the presence of each other and in the presence of a war that circles around their youth. Starling momentarily mistakes Finn's hysterical laughter with a familiar one that belonged to a young man she once knew and it causes her throat to tighten.

Dangerously close to tearing heavily, she rubs a hand softly into her left eye. She is sure the lavender eye shadow on her eyelid is smudged and smearing into the fabric of her glove. Starling tightens her lips into a thin line. She quickly turns a heel to head back to the washroom to clean herself up.

Then a funny sound stops her in her track. She freezes and cautiously waits. Is it a secret ambush? A spy she overlooked in her moment of daze? Have _they_ found out and are watching her cry? Years of preparedness for un-expectancies have trained her well to keep silent and unnerved under pressure. She tenses her body but calmly waits.

_Arrcrccchk._

It's a squawk. No, a chirp. A bark? Whatever it is, she recognises it instantly.

Turning her head back slowly, she keeps her mouth in the same tight line and doesn't dare to take a breath. Normally when the creature is around, he is usually with Aerrow, and she couldn't handle him seeing her like this; even if they do share a requited bond when it comes to losing those most important to you, it is a level of shared unspoken sorrow that they have not yet exchanged with each other. She's not ready to open up. She's sure he probably isn't either.

But when she turns her head fully, the furry little co-pilot is alone. A rush of relief runs through her. She lets out a slow exhale.

Despite the awkward tension that tufts around them, she feels more content with him than she realises and is somehow able to relax her body. Radarr senses her distress like he did on the bridge moments ago before scampering into the hall to find her. He now squats on his hind legs, waiting patiently for her to respond to him.

Starling proceeds to turn her body back around in alignment with her head. She stares wide-eyed into his large yellow eyes, which blink curiously and shine with the understandable concern to ask _'Are you alright?'_ within them.

The young woman opens her mouth to some degree and is once again astounded by another member of the Storm Hawks. There was so much intelligence in Radarr, more than she ever gave him credit for. She felt bad; she should have given him the satisfaction of knowing that she acknowledged him too. Aerrow always made sure of that.

Then she blinks, almost as wide he does. Starling suddenly sees a mousy, yet burly young man with wild green hair, almost like the colour of Radarr's fur, in her head and she remembers a similar bond of respect she felt for him long ago. Her heart drops in her chest again.

Radarr's hairs rise up on his neck. There is deep chill floating around Starling, he feels it. Almost immediately he scampers to her side tugs gently on her skirt. He makes a high-pitched mewl and stares up into her blank face. Her green eyes seem like they are almost a league away, reliving some sad memory or small nightmare.

_Arrrc…!_

Smoke, dark clouds and thunderous engines are running through Starling's mind. Large teeth, a flying weapon, and an energy-infused blade are blinding her subconscious mind. Then several cries of total fear and a drop in altitude are all she feels. Blood pounds in her ears. Starling doesn't realise but she is shaking. Like a feather under battered breath, she is shaking. Her eyes snap shut, almost seeing the ground coming towards her from behind the windshield of her aerodynamic motor-vehicle.

_Archk! Arrrchhhk!_

Radarr pulls her back to reality. And when she shakes her head to relieve herself of the slight trauma, she is surprised to find tears running down her cheeks. She doesn't go to wipe them away. It is the first time in a while that she has finally openly cried to anyone, namely herself.

When she looks down, Radarr is suddenly holding a small box of tissues in one paw and is giving her the most melancholy, sympathetic look a creature like him can give her. He must have run to get them for her while she had spaced out on him. And before she can even react to his kind gesture, the familiar _whoosh_ of a _Condor_ hatch opens and Starling pulls her gaze up to find four other Storm Hawks staring at her from across the frame. Stork's back is visible, still flying the ship but it looks tensed up. They must have heard Radarr's frantic squawk's from beyond the metal door.

Piper is the first to react. She sprints the distance to Starling and before she decides to throw her arms around the older woman for support, she steels herself and stands patiently waiting. She knows Starling better now over the months they have worked together – she is not one for direct comfort. The boys walk up solemnly to both girls. No one says a word.

Starling is baffled. Shocked, and a bit afraid. It was hard showing even a crack of saddened emotion to one Storm Hawk, now they all had her under the limelight. How was she to respond?

_One Storm Hawk... Wait. Radarr._

She suddenly remembers the furry little co-pilot still offering her his condolences with a small box of tissues. Looking down, she sees he has put his arm down, probably tired from waiting for her to take it or thinking that she's refused his care. But his big yellow eyes are still tracking her face with the same wide and worried expression of a smart individual. And despite her turned-up fear and poignant emotions, she finds a way to smile. Radarr's presence, along with Piper and the boys who stand aside, remind her of more memories, _better_ memories of when she was once a leader.

The Storm Hawks are no different from the Interceptors she thinks she left behind. They understand the importance of this. With their furrowed brows and tight lips, and hands either clasped together or fisted, they connect to Starling's heart in a way she never thought she would never experience again. It is another first in such a long time. It is this and everything about their attributes that both keeps and compels her to stay. And she feels the hollow of emptiness that often surges through her start to shrink to a fraction of a degree.

Kneeling down, no longer scared of crying in front of them, Starling takes the box from his tiny paw. She affectionately nuzzles his head with her fingers and in her own appreciative way says _'Thank you, friend'_, reminding him of his importance to this team and now, to her too.

Her memory still runs fresh with the flashbacks but the moment of crumbling passes. Starling once again feels herself patching up again, even if only for this moment while Radarr stands comfortingly next to her.

He is smiling; he has done his best.

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_~This one really put me in the mood :) But not in that kind of mood lol. I hope it warmed your hearts in some way. Starling is a remarkable character. Admire her strength._

_Much love, Abby~_


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